Join me & SAVI coaching for a month long cohort.
I am excited to joining with Tyler Coston, and Mark Cascio of SAVI coaching for a month long cohort on infusing mental performance skills in your coaching.
Topics include:
- Utilizing the 4 E's framework to effectively teach Mental Performance Skills to your Athletes
- Understanding the power of Self-talk
- Building Routines for Peak Performance
- Helping athletes handle the ups and downs of competition
The cohort includes all the teaching materials and handouts you'll need to teach these skills to your teams
It also includes a month of access to the full catalog of the SAVI system. Some of my favourite parts include:
- The Lock Left Defense
- The Race and Space Offense
- A community of like minded coaches
Tyler Coston is a master teacher and a great communicator. He does a wonderful job creating sticky language to help explain and label concepts. I enjoying being part of the SAVI community
All for $147.00
Communication:
A Great Coaches Superpower- Part 2 of 3
Last week in part one of the series on communication focused on the importance of understanding what both sides were hoping to get out of the conversation. I also explored the O.A.R.S. framework that is used within the world of healthcare to help create clearer conversations and also works well to empower athletes. I would love if you took a few minutes to read it.
You can read it here:
In this week's issue, I am exploring the second component of becoming a great communicator, listening.
Listening is an often-ignored skill in 2024. The world today tends to respond to the loudest voice in the room (see Smith, Stephen A.). Humans also are distracted. Dr. Amshi Jha, one of the world's leading experts on focus, estimates that we miss 50% of what happens in our lives. That includes 50% of the conversations we have with our athletes. It also means they don't even hear 50% of what we say to them, let alone act on it.
Listening is a subtle skill but it communicates so much to the other person in the conversation.
I was recently involved in a conversation with someone at work who picked up their phone mid-conversation and started doing something else. Suffice to say I did not feel valued in that moment.
Sadly, this is all too common today. The pull of cell phone addiction is strong.
Another factor is the tendency for humans to start formulating their response while the other person is speaking.
This is a natural tendency for all humans. Our brains are prediction machines, so responses are often pre-determined before the speaker has finished.
Frequently, we are wrong about the what the person is going to say and it leaves the other half of a conversation feeling unheard. It also creates confusion.
Coaches are often taught to speak and teach, not listen. I have never seen emphasis placed on listening in any coach training.
Coaching requires the ability to transmit information, but great coaches know that the information they get back from their athletes is just as important.
How much more effective will coaches be if they become great listeners?
Listening is a challenging skill in our society. The value is on what you project not what you absorb. Most people are in a rush to make their point. They do not take time to hear what people are saying. They are busy formulating their responne. For those that take the time, there are many benefits to better listening.
Truly hearing someone enhances our worldview and expands our thinking. Listening to someone it shows how much they are valued. All of which strengthens commitment and buy in from athletes.
Listening intently creates a deep meaningful connection for both the speaker and the listener. The brain waves of two people in a connected conversation actually start to mirror each other.
Clearly we will all benefit from improving our listening skills.
Here are a few simple ways coaches (and all of us) can prioritize and improve our listening skills.
1.) Create a culture that values listening & speaking up.
Teams function at the highest level when the amount of talking is evenly shared amongst all on the team. Make sure that one person at a time speaks and all are given a chance.
It is normal for some players to speak more than others but providing everyone the opportunity to speak is vital.
Without this the loudest voice in the room charts the course of the team and the quieter athletes feel powerless.
Practical takeaway for coaches:
Want to avoid your team tuning you out?
Shift your culture where you ask more questions and your team does more of the talking.
This creates a culture where people listen because they know that their opinions matter. Randomly calling on the quieter athletes is important because it makes sure everyone focuses as they know they will be called on to answer questions.
As mentioned above it is imperative to give every player a chance to speak.
2.) Be Curious
As Walt Whitman and Ted Lasso famously said “Be curious, not judgemental”.
People in our society love to argue and debate, and in many cases, it is very difficult to move people off their point of view. It is especially difficult when they feel judged for their opinions. Athletes are no different.
To be curious about an opinion requires that you hear it in the first place.
This shows that you are listening and interested in what they are saying . You will also be less likely to formulate your response if you ask questions.
You also had to know I was putting in one of my favourite Ted Lasso clips here.
Practical Tip for coaches:
When you hear a statement from a player that you disagree with ask a question instead of passing judgement. This creates a sense of safety with the members of your team. Judgement always makes people defensive.
Judgement escalates any situation while curiosity diffuses conflict.
Try to make your response a question or a clarification of their point. Open questions allow discussion to continue.
3.) Body language is important
There are many cues that tell people you are listening many of them are non-verbal.
Leaning in, eye contact, head nods of agreement, and facial expressions all communicate that you are engaged in the conversation and are listening. A smile can go a long way.
I love a good head nod. I know the person is engaged and when speaking to a team or group I rely on those cues to help me determine if my audience is engaged.
Negative body language includes crossed arms and physically pulling away from the speaker. Looking away, looking down or talking with your neighbor (even if it is ontopic)
After 25 years of teaching, I have a mountain of experience speaking to an audience that is not engaged. It's important data to mine, if students and athletes aren't engaged they aren't learning.
Just an FYI, scrolling on your phone also communicates that you have checked out (just in case the person from work is reading)
Practical tip for coaches:
Nothing tells your players that your are not engaged in the conversation more than your body language. Give them the type of body language you want from them.
For any athlete, talking to a coach can be intimidating. Coaches hold the power in the relationship. Talking with a coach who can't look up and give them attention provides an incredibly powerful, negative message. It tells the athlete that they do not matter.
Make sure that you are giving the conversation the attention that it deserves.
4.) Use Reflective Listening
We covered this week as part of the O.A.R.S framwork.
Reflective listening is showing the speaker you understand their point by reflecting it back to them.
Examples of this would be “so what your are saying is…..” “Tell me why you think she doesn’t like you….” It requires some practice but is a very effective way of communicating that puts the focus on the person you are talking with.
Practical Tip for Coaches:
This is a great tool to improve communication with your athletes. It helps unpack conflict without escalating tensions and emotions. Using reflective listening will feel a bit forced at first but it will get easier over time.
Next week, in issue #95 I am going to explore the art of feedback, and how saying less benefits your athletes.
A Great Resource to Learn More About Listening
You're not listening: What you're missing and why it matters- Kate Murphy
Kate Murphy has combined exhaustive resarch with great practical examples of the benefit of listening. Murphy has conducted countless interviews and has found great practical examples that allow the reader to clearly see the benefit of developing listening skills. I always love the combination of practical and informative
Can I help you on your coaching journey?
Let's work together.
I would love to help you or your team build a competitive advantage. Here are a few ways I can help:
- Consult with your team
- Teach mental skills via Zoom
- Work 1 on 1 with coaches
- Work 1 on 1 with athletes
Shoot me an email I love to talk coaching and see how I can help you. Coaching is hard, let's make it easier. Send me an email at jasonpayne@evolutionmpc.com
Thanks for reading and have a great week.